“V-AIM Day” is set for Monday night at 10:18pm after mom goes to bed and signs out of the family computer. Following reports that indicated low user engagement scores on the Zoom platform during its first week of widespread use for HBS course sessions and departmental meetings, a specially-appointed IT task force announced that the… Continue reading Citing Low User Engagement, IT to Replace Zoom with Innovative Chat-Based Tool AIM
Category: April Fools
Love in the Time of Corona
Chapter 1: The Flame, Ignited You see before you an old man, burdened and weathered by the myriad small hardships and crises of life. Such is the destiny of those who toil with their hands to harvest the Earth’s bounty. But I have not always been this way. I want to tell you a story… Continue reading Love in the Time of Corona
Jana Kierstead Claims She Does Not Control US Department of State
Students protest after Administration permits the United States government to flag all countries as Level 4 risk. The United States of America issued a rare Global Level 4 health advisory, asking citizens to “come home immediately.” The Government advised, “Have a travel plan that does not rely on the U.S. Government for assistance,” which is… Continue reading Jana Kierstead Claims She Does Not Control US Department of State
Class of 2020’s Diplomas to Be Available Only in Blockchain Format
Faculty says decision aligns with new all-virtual strategy. As HBS students have watched most of what they know and love about the HBS experience—such as classes, section events, Shad workout classes, and graduation—move from the physical world to the virtual world, ECs recently learned that, in lieu of distributing paper diplomas, the administration will simply… Continue reading Class of 2020’s Diplomas to Be Available Only in Blockchain Format
Selected Restaurant Associates Yelp Reviews, Republished
“10/10. Big fan. I’ve been going to this place since it opened. Great for a quick snack, sit-down meal, or even special occasions. The curtains make it seem fancy, but it’s really more of a neighborhood gem. Case in point: seems like I run into someone I know every time I go!” -Jantastic4@hotmail.com Sept 2019… Continue reading Selected Restaurant Associates Yelp Reviews, Republished
HBS Removes Zoom Machine Learning Pilot after Consultants Protest
Management consultants are enraged by generic comment blackout. In a blow to the advance of technology and data science, HBS has pulled back the machine learning pilot it was conducting on Zoom in collaboration with the School of Engineering and Applied Sciences. The move serves as a triumph for students, who had been horrified to… Continue reading HBS Removes Zoom Machine Learning Pilot after Consultants Protest
RCs Revolt after One Bad STRAT Case, Threaten to “ISDL This B**ch”
Faculty and staff claim one bad case does not merit a tuition reimbursement. In a tense meeting with Jan Rivkin and Rob Huckman, RC Presidents and Ed Reps demanded to understand why the Disney case, successfully used with literally every HBS class since the beginning of time, resulted in a 9.3/10 rating in their WhatsApp… Continue reading RCs Revolt after One Bad STRAT Case, Threaten to “ISDL This B**ch”
Dean Deems Harby Essential Services
ISDL coaches will be repurposed to make memes. In a bold move that dazzled his admirers and detractors alike, Dean Nohria announced that he would be invoking the Defensive Humor Production Act of 2020. As an ever increasing number of bored students exhaust the finite supply of #coronamemes on the internet, the Dean is looking… Continue reading Dean Deems Harby Essential Services
Six-Month Dean Search Ends with New Hire
Introducing Nitin Nohria. After an exhaustive six-month search, the HBS Dean Search Advisory Committee announced Friday the successor to Dean Nitin Nohria: Nitin Nohria. “Honestly, his resume just stood out,” said search committee member Professor Matt Weinzierl. “We used blind resumes, of course, to remove any bias we may have had, so we didn’t realize… Continue reading Six-Month Dean Search Ends with New Hire
Trump Invokes Defense Production Act
POTUS orders Harvard Business Publishing to manufacture toilet paper. Chafing under pressure from a desperate public, President Donald J. Trump invoked the Defense Production Act on Tuesday, giving himself sweeping new authority to direct the production of American firms during times of national emergency. In his very first order, he commanded Harvard Business Publishing (HBP)… Continue reading Trump Invokes Defense Production Act
Department of Operations Implements Project Room Fees Spangler Grille to Become Room Time Trading Floor
Spangler Hall – The Department of Operations’ Room Reservations Office said Thursday that it will be implementing per-quarter-hour fees for project room use, responding to student complaints that there’s never a quiet spot to make a phone call when you goddam need one. “This will ensure an equitable distribution of project room resources at a… Continue reading Department of Operations Implements Project Room Fees Spangler Grille to Become Room Time Trading Floor
Social Enterprise Initiative Launches New Program to Combat Climate Change and Save Weekend Ski Trips
Cumnock Hall – Broken bones, bruised brains, and battered hearts – these are the injuries that have plagued the skiing and snowboarding population at HBS this year. Despite the usual hype and anticipation, record low snowfalls during peak season – especially during the official ski trip weekend – resulted in frustration, scratched equipment, and cringeworthy… Continue reading Social Enterprise Initiative Launches New Program to Combat Climate Change and Save Weekend Ski Trips
The Harbus Presents: The 2018 New Venture Competition’s “Thanks for Playing” List
This year’s New Venture Competition is in full swing, with multiple student-founded startups vying to be named top dog. However, many students are not aware that far more startup ideas are submitted to the competition than actually see the light of day, and this year, for the first time, the Harbus staff has gained exclusive… Continue reading The Harbus Presents: The 2018 New Venture Competition’s “Thanks for Playing” List
HBS i-Lab opens new basement floor for weed start-ups
Following closely on the heels of the successful AR/VR Studio launch this past February, the HBS Innovation Labs announced the opening of a new subterranean floor dedicated solely to cannabis start-ups. The so-called “HiGH Lab” initiative seeks to take advantage of recent changes to regulation. Massachusetts elected to legalize marijuana in November, joining several other… Continue reading HBS i-Lab opens new basement floor for weed start-ups