The Intraview:

What is the Intraview and why should you care? For the uninitiated, the Intraview is a bizarre Harbus concept in which a professional matchmaker scours the campus for the perfect couple, sends them off on an evening of their dreams, and lets the entire Harbus-reading student body learn about the results.

Unfortunately, the Harbus’s ad revenues have shrunk as the job market has tightened, making some modifications to the system necessary. Last year Uncle Jordy ran the show in true geezer-like fashion, but the costs of his services were astoundingly high. This year, instead of a professional matchmaker, the Harbus is using me, AuntieGoldie, who is qualified for the position solely because I went on Uncle Jordy’s inaugural Intraview. But as Jennifer Lopez said in the Wedding Planner, “You know how they say, ‘Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach?’ Well I say, ‘Those who can’t wed, plan.'” With JLo as my guide, I say, “Those without a steady boyfriend, set others up on Intraviews.”

Although I have now embraced my position as AuntieGoldie (think Fiddler on the Roof), it has been a tough lesson in journalistic ethics for me. At first, the job seemed like a dream come true—I would have access to all the single men on campus, allowing me to pick off the best ones for myself and leave the rest to go on Intraviews. Sadly, however, the editorial staff of the Harbus informed me that this violated some sort of fundamental journalistic principle, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. Despite being faced with this sobering reality, I bravely agreed to soldier on and set up the best and the brightest—or occasionally the hottiest—that Harvard Business School has to offer.

Why should you care? Well, if you’re already involved with someone, you should care because it makes for great reading. As you have already learned, the Harbus is already packed full of cutting-edge news and entertainment, but the Intraview just puts it over the edge. We’re
talking Pulitzer here.

If you’re single, the Intraview is a great opportunity to have fun and meet new people. Although I would like to say that four couples that met on Intraviews are now engaged, this whole journalistic ethics thing about not lying prevents me from doing so. I can say in full honesty, however, that everyone who went on an Interview had a great time. OK, except maybe that one couple. As for the engagement, hey, there’s always a first time.

How does it work? You volunteer to Intraview, or at least send me the names of your friends you think should get out more. A survey gets completed and returned, and I do my matchmaking thing. Two Intraviewers go out for fun and frolic, each writing a story about their respective experiences. After I find out the sordid details, I interview both parties, and—Voila!—three tantalizing tales end up in the Harbus.
So if you’re single and looking for a fun way to meet new people, drop AuntieGoldie a note at and I’ll see what I can do. And if you are currently trying to use your classcard as a dating service (you know who you are), if I don’t hear from you, you’ll hear from me. With cutting-edge technology and a matchmaker’s intuition, I feel some luv making its way to campus.

Watch out for the very first Intraview of the 2001-2002 school year next week!

Editor’s Note: We have a new online survey related to this article:

What IS that thing on AuntieGoldie’s head in her photo?
A. Beaver
B. Babushka
C. ‘Do Rag
D. Hockey Helmet
E. Aggie Armadillo Road Kill Dinner

Please send your response to