The DO's and DON'Ts of Black Monday

Harbus Humor Editor and Steward of the Collective Lust
By now, it should be apparent that the world of HBS has shifted. For RC’s, the world where fully 30% of the class flees Boston every Friday on a mass exodus to New York to appease distant lovers is ending, and being replaced by a world where raging hormones can at last be indulged. For while Black Monday left mayhem, destruction, and a sense of loss back home, it brings new found energy into the “quest to upgrade” that is the HBS experience. Not that I am in favor of it, mind you, but things are what they are. And so to help you all better cope with the new-found freedoms that the post-Black Monday world brings, I offer you part 2 of the “Do’s and Don’ts of Black Monday.” For those who missed part 1, it was published last year.

Top Ten Do’s and Don’ts of the Post-Black Monday HBS World (for the lovely ladies out there):

10. Do: start you comments in class with “Now that I’m single, I can see that…”

9. Don’t: call a man “cute.” Ever.

8. Do: continue to make Bambi eyes at your marketing professor. While he may not notice, the whole left-field does – and we love it.

7. Don’t: use the familiar let downs (“Sorry, I have to wash my hair;” “Actually, I’m doing laundry;” “I already made plans to watch ‘Beaches’.”)

6. Do: use creative let downs (“I’m waiting on my lab results”; “My chaperone is not free that night;” “I have my mud-wrestling class that day.”)

5. Don’t: give us a fake phone number when we ask. While this may work elsewhere, I’m not falling for that one again.

4. Do: date within section. I mean really, it’s inevitable, so grab that first-mover advantage. Plus, Harbus humorists need more fuel, now that satire of the administration is out.

3. Do: practice your “come hither” look. In Spangler. On me. Often.

2. Don’t: try to have notes passed to us during Gym class. We prefer FRC.

1. Do: ask a man out on a date. What? You and me? Sorry, I have my mud-wrestling class that day.

And with that, let the hunting begin.