The Five Files:

5. Riding the turnpike to Canada
What: Six hour drive in a silver van full of your fellow ruggers.

Pros: This is a once in a lifetime chance to compete for the title of World Spoof Champion and end up pleasantly dizzy after having drunk up to three mignonettes of a fine, tawny liquor. These six hours of pure joy are where you build strong friendships that will last forever. It all started in a van, God knows where it will all end.

Cons: Reading cases is a big no-no. The good news is you can still learn a lot: utilize the HBS pre-matriculation Quantitative Analysis Module and use statistical estimation to try to guess the right number of coins in the van. Analyse Jamil ‘King of Spoof’ Khan’s (OJ) elaborate strategy, stay unperturbed at Joseph Tesvic’s (OC) diversionary tactics or just enjoy the beautiful fall foliage.

4. Mingling in Montr‚al
What: Meet our opposite numbers at McGill Business School – opponents for the next day, but faithful allies for the evening’s ‘extracurricular’ activities.

Pros: Their classmates have made a special effort to be here and this is a great time for us to network with our Canadian cousins. Unfortunately we don’t get to know our counterparts as well as certain members of the RFC did last year… ..although we all feel more comfortable setting foot in the vans again.

Cons: Rugby match at 11am the next day. Whether ’tis nobler to suffer the side effects of downing outrageous quantities of adult beverages or to take arms against a sea of sneers and mockery and stick to Diet Coke, Nestea, and Perrier is the 64 million dollar question. The match the following morning will be a tough battle and it would be fair to say that 14 hours of drinking, four hours of sleep and the cultural diversions of Montreal will not help HBS win the match.

3. Montr‚al, la nuit…
What: A stunning city that holds many in awe.

Pros: “Tough training, easy war…”, as they say! So what’s the point of going to bed too early when you only have two nights to spend in town? The boys descend on the nightspots of Montreal and even manage to take in a show or two.

Cons: The two schwarma with extra chilli sauce which seemed like such a great idea at 4am, seem like an error of judgment at 9am!

2. Operation Desert Storm
What: A rugby match in a sand pit (see related article on the match).

Pros: A re-make of the battle of El Alamein. Every piece of action started in a big puff of dust and within a few seconds, it was impossible to see anything. Passes are made with eyes tightly shut using voice recognition, which requires a great deal of effort on the field. All you need to know here is that HBS came out victorious.

Cons: Rather de-motivating for our thirsty warriors was the Bloody Mary open-bar that our hosts had set up on the side-line for their crowd of supporters and civilian cheerleaders. Not the slightest sip for us players… Quel dommage!

1. The Climax
What: Not long after the match has ended the farewell festivities commence. After dominating McGill in the rugby game, we then proceeded to dominate them in singing, drinking, dancing and the art of meeting local damsels.

Pros: In the basement of a local tavern the lads got together and after all we had been through this is when our teammates started to feel like members of our extended families. Suddenly, half way through lunch, Derek ‘DD’ Mendez (HBS ’03) proposes a shot of the finest tequila to toast our victory. Well you’ve all heard of a Tequila shot with salt and lime: lets just say that the variant known as ‘the stuntman shot’ left some of the newer ruggers worse for wear. The afternoon was then spent viewing more of Montreal’s extensive cultural attractions. We even managed to bump into Ms Fitness Canada 2004 in our travels.

Evening entertainment consisted of drinking, singing and general debauchery at a local bar before we moved onto the Tokyo2 nightclub (think Kong, but a little bit classier).

This is where the RFC clearly came into its element. The recently patented Hughes-Butville ‘sandwich tackle’ found new uses on the dance floor of this prestigious nightclub. Oliver ‘sorry I’m having dinner with my sectionmates’ Thomas (OA) even managed to get in two hours sleep at this fine establishment!

Cons: The next day… Our only highlights of the next after were the liquor store at the Canadian border and receiving free Burger King paper crowns with the purchase of a Whopper. Alas, the tour is over but no worries, we have another one in two weeks time!