Your first year at HBS is overwhelming. The administration talks about managing your time and not trying to do everything, but your type-A inner-voice just keeps screaming at you to make it to each event, attend all the major speakers, and go to class every day. Ridiculous. While it all sounds nice in theory, from a practical standpoint it’s really just not possible. Lucky for you we’ve put together a list of all the major events to let you know what’s really important and what you should avoid.
Creating Modern Capitalism: AVOID.
Okay, so granted we attend the #1 business school in the world, but “actively” reading a 700 page history book before even setting foot on campus? C’mon, how gullible can you be?
Cranberry case: AVOID.
Calling in sick would probably look a bit suspect, but having a friend break your arm in order to avoid going to this session of TOM would be both worthwhile and believable.
Pimps & Ho’s: DO IT.
Great party and probably the last chance you’ll get to see your future CEO classmates dressed in this sort of gear.
Priscilla Ball: DO IT.
Men dressed as women is one of four universally funny things in life (the others being Bill Murray, your resident A&E Editors, and of course Bob Saget, whose humor is, in our opinion, criminally misunderstood). Priscilla proves that nothing is better than an open bar mixed with men dressed in heels. Key point of advice for you first year men: wear comfortable shoes, oh and queue early for tickets. The fact that the Priscilla ball is consistently shifting venues because previous locations become inexplicably and suddenly booked solid, should give you some idea of how good a party this is.
Keeping track of section pitdiving: DO IT.
No matter what your section Leadership and Values committee says.
Hollidazzle: DO IT
Possibly the best event of the year, Hollidazzle is a great way to say goodbye to your section mate friends before Christmas break.
Section Soccer: DO IT
Though be prepared to lose to Section OC.
Halloween Ball: DO IT
Make sure you bring your A-game on the costume though, as HBS students are ultra-competitive with everything. Also, look out for an appearance of the famous Village People led by Joseph Tesvic (OC) & Delauno Hinson (OC), rocking out YMCA (they’re funny, in tune, and damn sexy)
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Going to Noir after the Hong Kong closes: AVOID
It may really seem like a good idea at the time, but avoiding this classic HBS trap will have your wallet, body, and professor thanking you in the morning.
HBS mixers with nurses or other undergrad institutions: AVOID
Sure, with the 65/35 on campus ratio of men to women it might seem like a good idea, but it always turns out to be the biggest cockfight this side of Shanghai.
Hingham St. Parties: DO IT
Always a great time, just make sure you show up early in order to avoid getting sent home in the paddy wagon that will inevitably arrive (along with the twenty police cars) around midnight. It’s like Old School but without Will Farrell streaking and Snoop Dogg rocking the mike.
