News In Brief:

EC Student Forgets Sectionmate’s Name
(Spangler Lawn) EC student Mike Giarusso “completely blanked” on his sectionmate’s name yesterday when she said “hello” to him between classes. “I seriously had no idea who she was,” said Giarusso, “but I think I covered it up pretty well.” The unknown student, a Ms. Martha Jones, disagrees. “It was so obvious Mike didn’t remember my name. He was like ‘Hey…you…I would love to catch up on…that job you had…in…that city you lived in this summer…but I have to run…to the other end of the hall…to do something…right now.” Later in the day, Giarusso described the woman to Jack Rodman, another sectionmate, and asked him if he knew her. “You mean the girl you sat next to first term last year? You mean the woman who got you your summer job at her dad’s firm? That’s Martha. The chick you hooked up with at Newport.”

Tech Rep Getting Cocky about Being Tech Rep
(Aldrich 513) Section N’s newly-elected Tech Rep Nick Bufano is getting a little cocky about being a tech rep, sources said Monday night. “Nick asked me the other day what music I thought he should use for his theme song,” said wormdeck-mate Karen Murphy. “And I was like Theme song? Please tell me you’re joking.’ Well, he wasn’t joking because the next time he had to help someone hook up their laptop to the projector, he played that James Bond song Nobody Does It Better while he hit the function+f4 buttons. When powerpoint popped up on the screen, he shouted ‘Boo-yow!’ and then strutted back to his seat.” Janet Maslona agrees that Bufano is getting a little big for his breeches. “You might think Nick is just kidding around,” said Maslona. “But this is the fifth time he’s done something like that in a week. When he figured out how to turn up the volume for that ‘Twelve Angry Men’ video, I swear to God he said to me ‘You like that, don’t you baby?'” At press time, Bufano was unavailable for comment as he was interviewing people for his entourage.

Guy with Four Middle Names Really Good at Squash
(Shad) RC student Tim Jones was blanked 9-0, 9-0, 9-0 by his sectionmate Chandler Baker Bennings Crozier Morgan de Gunzburg in a Squash match in Shad last Thursday. “I was amazed that Chandler was so good,” said a surprised Jones. “I just thought he picked up the sport when he got to HBS like I did. But I guess he must have played a few times or something at that Exeter school he went to before Cornell.” Jones, a competitor at-heart, plans to avenge his embarrassing loss by challenging de Gunzburg to a match in another sport. “I’m pretty much thinking sailing. While I’ve never done it before myself, I bet Chandler hasn’t either. It should be an even match.”