Impressions of a First Year

At the conclusion of the Fall Term, we found ourselves in the midst of what HBS calls RC exam week, and what I call a six year tour in ‘Nam. After uploading the Lead exam, I felt euphoria, but while in the throws of the tests, I didn’t know if I would live another minute. I’m being completely serious here. You can find a letter to my mom on my desktop. I told the guy behind me that if I went, to give it to her “no matter what”; of course I’d do the same for him.

Knowing what I know now, I would rather give up a kidney while awake than take that exam. Their evil attempts to create a completely and literally impossible exam took down some of their own; evidently even some of the FRC professors couldn’t finish the exam within the allotted time. I get a kick out of seeing the monster take down Dr. Frankenstein. And what about the rat race for the timestamp? I’ve seen calmer people on acid. A professional wrestler should name his trademark move “The FRC exam” because that’s what it felt like. I can see it now (play dream sequence music here)….

“Look folks, The Rock is going to…, oh my God, no, he’s going to give him ‘The FRC exam’. I hope they have a stretcher ready.”

Kudos to the marketing department for giving us a case on a product that we can understand, rather than forcing us to derive a strategy for zipper teeth or soup can labels. Who knew the pile driver pad industry was so fun? All I know is that I want a quartz shower today.

Everyone says that as long as I know Stonehaven, I’ll be fine. That said:
Give me an F – “F”
Give me an O – “O”
Give me a U – “U”
Give me an R – “R”
Oh crap, did I upload the wrong exam yesterday? I’m swept with paranoia.

At this point, I’m exhausted. Ironically, I can’t remember the last movie I saw or what a beta is. I think it has something to do with Sony. It’s day four, and yet someone in my section has no idea how to mute the sounds on their computer. My face looks like Burt Reynolds’ chest in “Smokey and the Bandit” because I haven’t had time to shave in days.

It’s now 8:45, and I have four hours to come up with an action plan based on less than twenty pages of limited information. I guess you can say that I’m four hours away from “a wakeup”, and then it’s all over. I wish the case would have been on Erik Peterson part two so I could have recommended that he bus tables faster to get more tips. Now that’s an incentive plan.

For some reason I decided to go to my.hbs only to find that the administration has decided to post next terms assignments already. Whoa. Can I just ask why? Can’t they just give us push ups?