"Admission's Mistake" Discovers Whole Life was a Mistake

(Morris) Last Sunday, RC student and self-proclaimed “admission’s mistake” Lou Ianno finally got the courage to confide in his mother that he is struggling in school and worries that HBS made a mistake by admitting him to the Class of 2005.

“But rather than hearing comforting words from my mom like ‘you belong at Harvard’ or ‘you’re just as smart as everyone else,’ she laughed and said ‘That’s funny, because your conception was also a mistake.”

Ianno speculates that his mother was “drinking” because she went on to graphically describe the physical act that resulted in his conception. “All I could make out was that it was the 1973 Oil Embargo and there was a really long line at the gas station and they had never done it in a car and my stupid father forgot protection.”

While Ianno is still reeling from the mental images of his parents doing “it” at a gas station, he’s glad he finally found out the truth. “It explains a lot of things that never seemed to make sense, like why my only sister is 18 years older than I and why my Dad was always saying ‘If it wasn’t for damn OPEC, I’d be retired in Arizona instead of sending your ass to college.'”