Student Spends 83 Minutes on Evite Response

(2 Soldier’s Field Park) Last night, RC student Steve Kazmirsky (NP) spent more than 80 minutes trying to come up with a witty Evite response, according to his roommate RC student // Guy Gresani (NQ).

“Steve got invited to some Eighties Party thrown by a bunch of ECs,” said a disappointed Gresani, who was not invited to the party. “He said he had to come up with a funny response on the Evite because replica watches he doesn’t know a lot of people going to the party and he wanted to make a great impression in advance.”

According to Kazmirsky, “Everyone reads the Evite responses. If you write something stupid on the Evite, you might as well not go to the party because you’ve already blown it with the ladies. If you write something funny, there is a good chance that at least one of the women will overlook the fact that I’m chubby and losing my hair.”

Kazmirsky wrote a number of different replies with Eighties references but none of them seemed worked. “Either someone else on the Evite had used the idea or it just wasn’t funny,” lamented Kazmirsky.

“I had a great one about parachute pants, but had already written ‘Time to Break Out the Parachute Pants :-)’ My best one was ‘Who’s wants to Safety Dance?’ It was a reference to that song ‘Safety Dance.’ My roommate thought that it was pretty stupid. My worst was probably ‘I Touch Myself.’ I thought it would be funny to reference that Divinyls’s song. My roommate told me it wasn’t. He also said that I would be sending out a weird signal to everyone at the party. I guess he’s right.”

Kazmirsky even went on a number of “Fan of the Eighties” sites to try to drum up some ideas. “I saw a bunch of cools things like Pac-Man and rubber bracelets and women with leg warmers but I couldn’t work them in to a funny reply.”

After realizing that he had burned more than 80 minutes on the Evite and still had a study group write-up to send out, Kazmirsky went with the old faithful reply.

“ can’t wait to be there!”