News In Brief:

Technical Question Looks like Non-Technical Comment

(Aldrich 508) When Abe Marcotti raised his classcard during FRC last Tuesday and told his professor he was “confused about expensing stock options,” Professor Lampley and classmates expected Marcotti to follow up the statement with a technical question like “What is Black Scholes” or “What did Yasu Wantanabe say? I couldn’t understand a word of it.”

Instead, the next words out of Marcotti’s mouth were “I think options should be expensed” and he went on to offer five specific reasons why newly-issued options should immediately hit the income statement.

Sectionmmate Jane Pavlik then raised her classcard and said, “How the hell was that a technical question?” Marcotti replied “It wasn’t. It’s just that I’ve had my hand up the whole class and wasn’t getting called on so I wanted to make sure I got a comment in.” While his classmates appreciated Marcotti’s honesty, a few complained bitterly about rampant technical question abuse to Professor Lampley after class. Professor Lampley agreed “whole-heartedly” with them and vowed to put an end to the “nefarious” practice. He then went back to his office and gave Marcotti a “1” for participation.

Student Drops Out of Joint MBA/MRS Program

(Hamilton) EC student Eileen Halley officially dropped out of the joint MBA/MRS program yesterday, citing the high likelihood that she will not graduate next May with a ring on her finger. “In all reality, I do not have a serious boyfriend right now,” said a disappointed Halley. “And it would be difficult to meet a guy in the next few weeks who would even consider proposing by May. I think it is time to just focus on my business classes.”

Halley attributes her unsuccessful bid for the MRS degree to a “bad breakup” and “the fact that every guy at HBS thinks he will be dating a supermodel once he graduates.” EC student Gary Reinhardt, a balding, overweight, future investment banker and Halley’s ex-boyfriend, agrees.

“I find Halley funny and smart and quite attractive. But I can’t be tied down right now. I’m moving to New York next year where I’ll be an HBS-educated Morgan Stanley banker. From what I hear, guys like me are not dimes a dozen in the Big Apple. We’re hot commodities. Models are gonna be all over me.”

Family Business VP Title Not Transferable to Non-Family Businesses

(Spangler) EC student Jerry Adams discovered last week that his Vice President title he held at Adams Furniture isn’t transferable to businesses not owned by people in his family. “When I interviewed with Dell, they actually expected me to come in as an associate,” said a shocked Adams.

“An associate? What were they thinking? I was a VP before I came to HBS. A VP of not the fourth, but the third largest furniture store in Somerville. That should mean something to a computer company.”

Adams was also taken aback by a comment a Managing Director at Lehman Brothers made to him. “Some banker seriously had the nerve to imply that my father just handed me the position. Well, I told him that he was completely mistaken. First of all, I had strong experience, despite being right out of college. I mean, I was treasurer of my fraternity for a semester. And secondly, I had to interview for the position like everyone else. Yeah, it was my dad interviewing me, but I knocked the cover off the ball in the interview. I earned that job fair and square.”