News In Brief

EC Student Trapped Under Weight of Own Engagement Ring

(Hawes 203) EC student Erica Lodge was clinging to life late last night as firefighters worked to free the 28 year-old from her 3.7 carat princess cut diamond ring that toppled onto her in what has become an all-too-typical engagement ring-related accident. “It was crazy,” said classmate Michelle Rollins, who was with Lodge in Consumer Marketing when the incident occurred. “A bunch of us remember seeing a blinding light coming from her raised hand, and then all of a sudden she was on the ground and couldn’t get up. Her ring is so sparkly!” Lodge’s fianc‚, fellow section-mate Davidson Baker III, was by his future wife’s side, encouraging rescue workers to use care in cutting through the diamond-encrusted Tiffany platinum setting, “I could have bought a BMW 530 for the same price. But it was all worth it to see the look of entitlement on her face when I proposed.” Provided the rescue operation is successful and Lodge doesn’t break off the engagement over Thanksgiving, the couple will marry this summer in Hilton Head, SC in front of 500 of their closest friends.

EC Student Drives Boxster; Still Hasn’t Paid $50 for Charity Auction

(Boston) At last April’s Section Q charity auction for the Allston/Brighton Orphanage, Niall Eckles won a full body wax from section-mate Jake Bromberg for only $50. But according to Naydia Watkins, head of Section Q’s charity auction, Eckles is the only person in the section who hasn’t paid his bill. “I’ve tried to get the 50 bucks from him everyday after Business Marketing,” said Watkins, “but he always tells me that he is in a ‘cash flow crunch’ and then he rushes off to the parking lot, jumps in his Boxster and speeds off to his brownstone on Comm. Ave.” When reached for comment on his $500 Samsung cell phone, Eckles told H-BS that “money is real tight right now” and that he had to “cut the interview short to catch a flight to London for the weekend.” Watkins has written off the $50 and yesterday told the children at the orphanage that they will not have enough money for pumpkins this Halloween. “But I still haven’t broken the news to Jake Bromberg,” said Watkins. “He’s not going to be too happy when he finds out he waxed Niall’s back and ass for nothing.”

Harbus to Change Its Name to RUGBY

(Spangler Basement) The Harbus, Harvard Business School’s independent newspaper, announced yesterday that it is officially changing its name to RUGBY to reflect the paper’s growing emphasis on the HBS Rugby Football Club. “The move should surprise no one,” announced a Harbus spokesman. “For weeks we have been slowly moving away from general campus news to more and more pieces about every aspect of Club Rugby.

On a going forward basis, every article will some how be connected to the men’s Rugby team.” Harbus staff writer Kevin McDermott’s interview with GE’s CEO Jeffrey Immelt, which is set to run in next week’s inaugural RUGBY issue, already reflects the changes. “I asked Immelt what are the biggest growth opportunities for GE. I also asked him if he thinks HBS Club Rugby can beat the Boston Irish Wolfhounds. Immelt likes China and healthcare as major sources of growth for GE. He also likes HBS over the Wolfhounds 26-9.” In the same issue, RUGBY plans to run a 37-page insert on the Rugby team’s trip to Montreal, including match summaries, interviews with all 60 club members and detailed accounts of Rugby team’s exploits at Montreal’s famed restaurants and cigar bars.

Shocker: HBS Lawn Not Mowed for Three Straight Days

(Courtyard) Due to an egregious administrative oversight, the grounds of the Harvard Business School were allowed to remain unmanicured for an unprecedented three days. “It’s a disgrace,” said EC student John Wuthers. “What exactly are they doing with the 40 grand I’m paying?

Everyone knows HBS has the finest lawn in the Northeast. If this
continues, I’m transferring to Wharton.” In other news, the School of Education announced that the culmination of its capital campaign had resulted in the planting of three new trees outside the school’s single building.