To my fellow section mates:
No one told me this was supposed to be a two-semester gig! I mean, wasn’t it enough that I reported all of the Section E happenings for the first quarter of our B-school experience? Now I have people asking me, “Lincoln, when are you going to submit your next piece? Section so-and-so has already been in two editions this semester!”
Well pardon me, but isn’t the second semester at HBS supposed to be the beginning of the relaxation phase? We all busted our humps to get 2s in the first semester, but I figured that in this second semester we have realized that we are making it far more stressful than it needs to be. Therefore, we relax. I was merely applying this logic to my position as your Harbus Representative, but nooooooo, YOU all want more representation. (Or was that the southern colonists? Never mind.)
I suppose you want me to talk about Charlie Langston getting engaged over the break. (Congratulations!) Later, Charlie will be giving lessons on, “How to afford an engagement ring even though you have no job and are $50,000 in debt.”
Or that Louise Willington spent a cold Christmas in her Scottish homeland drinking, dancing, and singing carols, in that order, I think. She even had time to hike in the moors of Northern England and have tea with friends in London. Well la di da!
Maybe you want me to mention that Debi Winkler sat at home in the exotic location of…..New Jersey?! (Who writes this stuff? OK, don’t answer that one.) Apparently, she was anxious to begin the semester and ace that Finance I final exam.
Perhaps you would like me to make up something, like Simon Bachelda went on a tiger safari in India with his girlfriend, and ended up 200 meters away from one of the ferocious felines. (Only 200 meters? C’mon, I thought HBSers were fearless!) But no one would believe that.
Kari Feldman would probably want me to talk about her wonderfully planned “Welcome Back Party” at Sophia’s, held the first Friday of the semester. Free tapas, sangrias, and salsa lessons-and you could even bring a partner! I would have loved to have been there, babe, but I had already made plans with Qian Elmore (NF) and Gerard Hollins (ND) to jet off to London for the weekend. However, I heard it was a major success. We all appreciate the time and effort you put into planning a great night!
Of course, you guys would strongly request that I mention the International Potluck Dinner held in the common room at SFP. Gerlinde Gniezwosz was the head organizer of this feast that featured some of the best culinary experiments in the history of food (or at least HBS Section E). A big thank-you to Gerlinde and all those who came, saw, and ate.
Next thing you know, you’ll want me to talk about how the final day of Finance I, where Alok Sanghvi did an honorable impression of Professor Mihir Desai before we collectively thanked him for making Finance I a class where we laughed and enjoyed ourselves just as much as we learned. (Although we still haven’t received our grades yet.) Mihir, hats off to a job well done.
What else might you want me to write about? How after the Finance final we went to the Border Caf‚ in an attempt to forget about the previous four hours and thirty minutes? Or how the women of section E went to the House of Blues for a Gospel Brunch? The problem is, if I were to write all of this, I would barely have time to read those Society and Enterprise cases we will discuss tomorrow. And that would be unacceptable.
So, Section E, in closing I would like to say that while I enjoy being your Harbus Representative, I would ask that this position now include a small stipend. Either that, or you all need to stop having so many events. We can negotiate later. Right now, I need to relax.
Your first and second semester Harbus Representative,
R. Lincoln Alabaster
[Editor’s Note. Hate to break it to you, Lincoln, but you have a third and fourth semester still to come. -JK]
To my fellow section mates: