HBS Meets Reality: Episode One

I never thought I’d utter these words, but I’m inspired by the second season of “The Apprentice.” Sure, the pervasiveness of reality television is but one example of the mass-commercialization of the lowest common denominator. The shows are effectively low-budget, low-brow productions hosted by has-been celebrities (or worse, their trashy family members) in need of a career boost and cash. And now it’s catching on with those with nothing better to do with their time. Who could’ve imagined a Hilton family member defecting to the dark side of Hollywood? Although I haven’t watched television for over six years, much to the dismay of my pop-culture-obsessed roommate and US Weekly/People Magazine-addicted section neighbor, I need to defray some of my quickly-accruing Citibank debt.

So if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right? There may be a business opportunity to enlist an eager Entertainment Club member willing to get me in touch with a reality-TV producer. Picture it – an HBS reality show portraying all the gruesome details of our charmed lives. I envision multiple hidden cameras stationed throughout our little gated community:

Spangler Espresso Bar, 10:14 a.m.: Student orders double-shot-skim-milk-no-foam-extra-hot-medium-caf‚-latte and pouts when she discovers that Splenda is on back-order.

Spangler Salad Bar, 12:07 p.m.: Multiple glares as the line becomes more congested around the crouton bowl for a prospective student fumbling with the tongs.

Kresge, 3:20 p.m.: Research staff throws spontaneous celebration to welcome the first RC student to enter the makeshift library this fall. Student admits he made a wrong turn and was in fact looking for Morgan Hall.

Shad Yoga Room, 5:25 p.m.: Female EC student decked head-to-toe in all-black Prada gym clothes barely breaks sweat. Mists self with Evian spritzer.

Western Avenue Taxi Drop-Off, 8:16 p.m.: Three cabdrivers huddled and commiserating in an undecipherable language about methods to squeeze six students in to a single back seat.

SFP II Laundry Room, 11:53 p.m.: Finally! Proof of who has been taking wet clothes out of the washers and balling them up next to the dryers.