Yes, Harvard’s Police blotter is being printed in the humor section. Please read into that as you may. (For what it’s worth, my personal favorite report was from Valentine’s Day.)
10:29:41 a.m.-Harvard University Police Department (HUPD) officers observed a person acting suspiciously at the Science Center. A warrant check turned up negative.
11:26:44 a.m.-An officer was dispatched to take a report of a stolen ID card at the Malkin Athletic Center (MAC).
7:38:34 a.m.-A stolen laptop was reported at the MAC.
1:18:45 p.m.-HUPD officers arrested 59-year-old Daniel Morley, of Lexington, Mass., for suspicious behavior and an outstanding warrant in Gund Hall.
4:36:16 p.m.-An officer was dispatched to take a report of a threatening phone call at the Kennedy School of Government.
9:20:03 a.m.-An HUPD officer was sent to the MAC to take a report of a stolen coat.
4:23:42 a.m.-Officers were dispatched to The Crimson to investigate a report of a person acting suspiciously. The party was gone on arrival.
12:02:42 p.m.-An officer arrested 48-year-old Wayne Bullock, of Mattapan, Mass., for trespassing in Matthews Hall.
10:12:04 a.m.-HUPD officers were sent to the Bauer Center on Divinity Ave. to take a report of a stolen toaster oven and a microwave.
10:57:55 p.m.-Officers were dispatched to Weld Hall to investigate the well-being of participants in a possible argument. The conflict was resolved before the officers arrived.
10:14:58 p.m.-An officer was sent to Lowell House to take a report of a suspicious letter.
11:18:52 p.m.-HUPD officers assisted the Cambridge Police Department with a search at Pforzheimer House for a suspect in an armed robbery.
12:59:11a.m.-Harvard University Police Department (HUPD) officers assisted the Cambridge Police Department (CPD) with a robbery investigation at Currier House.
1:03:37 a.m.-An officer was dispatched to Mather House to take a report of a stolen snowboard.
6:04:33 a.m.-An HUPD officer observed an open door at the Loeb Drama Center and secured it.
2:42:48 p.m.-An officer was sent to the Faculty Club to investigate a report of flashing alarm lights on the building. All was in order.
8:24:55 p.m.-An HUPD officer responded to a report of a stolen laptop in the Adams House Dining Hall.
1:10:16 a.m.-An officer responded to a report of vandalism to a Claverly Hall window.
1:50:53 p.m.-A report of suspicious activity on the card reader system was taken by an officer at the Department of Health Care Policy at Harvard Medical School.
10:09:12 a.m.-Officers were sent to take a report of harassing e-mails at Austin Hall on the Harvard Law School campus.
8:27:52 p.m.-HUPD officers assisted MBTA police in dealing with argumentative motorists on Memorial Drive.
12:07:37 p.m.-An officer took a report of stolen food at Pforzheimer House.
1:36:32 a.m.-A small dog on a leash was reported biting people at Au Bon Pain on Mass Ave. An HUPD officer sent to investigate found all to be in order.
10:47:52 p.m.-Officers quieted down a loud party at The Harvard Advocate. HUPD was called back to the same locations about four hours later to suppress noise at the same party.
2:04:13 a.m.-HUPD officers helped the State Police pull over a car for inspection.
9:54:38 a.m.-A scarf was reported stolen at Canaday Hall.