AustinTrek 2001 – The Rest of the Story

While we all had grand plans for AustinTrek 2001 to begin Thursday night around10pm, things got started late for the less fortunate travelers, and not at all for the clueless. Emmet Seibels, Jame “Donger” Donath and Todd “Dinger” Thedinga were the first victims, as they were re-routed through Mississippi, while their luggage stayed the course for Dallas. Armed only with some cheap Harvard garb (no Latin) and plenty of cash, these goons quickly lost free drink privileges in the first class cabin, as Delta’s good faith upgrade quickly went south. Luckily, none of the Friday company hosts recognized their faces, or their clothes from the bars on Thursday night.
Suffering an even worse fate were Rich Jennings, Josh Clark and Jennifer Dossert, who found themselves stranded at the Dallas airport at midnight, when the last flight out was cancelled due to inclement weather. Luckily, and quite contrary to historical precedent, it was the French that came to the rescue in the form of Francois, a random traveler who was headed to Austin via car that same night. Needless to say, these Trekkers were in no mood for 8am company visits after a 4am Austin arrival.
While these travel nightmares could put a damper on anyone’s AustinTrek, Sara Munson’s planning savvy took the cake, when the airport agent informed Sara that she was a little early for her flight… one month to be precise. Don’t worry Sara, I’m sure that you could find some satisfied AustinTrekkers to join you in mid-March, with the exception of would be roommate Amy Reinhard, who left Austin for California after two days of listening to Dinger and Donger (see above) practice pickup lines. These two got their first taste of Texas charm / naivete when they stumbled upon a UT “Business School” student who was surprised to hear that the Harvard program was only two years compared to her four. (She was a 19 year-old undergrad for those slow of wit).

On Friday evening, Dell started things out with a great dinner at the Four Seasons Hotel. The beer and wine-only bar kept Trekkers in check, with the exception of Mike “Junior” Dal Bello, who was heard singing Top Gun’s Danger Zone, and talking about the “cute” wig he had purchased for the Priscilla Ball – in front of Dell managers and recruiters. After dinner, Trekkers quickly made up ground due to a divine suggestion from Reverend John Griggs to hit the Daiquiri Factory, home of the Everclear daiquiri. After topping off the tank with a heavy dose of liquid courage, it was time for the single Trekkers to test out the H-Bomb on some unsuspecting coeds at the ever-popular Paradise. While the Boston H-Bomb must be released with extreme tact and precision, the Austin Texas H-Bomb can be dropped with reckless abandon, and still achieve the desired results.

Ask Conor Bastable and Junior Dal Bello, who on numerous occasions “accidentally” attempted to purchase rounds of drinks with their Harvard ID. This actually proved fruitful for Junior, as he managed to score a phone number and email address from an intrigued cutie. Unfortunately, he didn’t know any better when number began with a Waco, Texas area code. This week his casework is taking a back seat to the “remember me” email… Good luck Junior.

Saturday night things got a little ugly, as the shenanigans continued at Maggie Maes, a favorite live music venue on Sixth Street. After traveling back in time to retrieve his college alter ego, John Griggs led an Animal House like charge, which resulted in a dog pile brawl and lifetime banishment from the bar. Caught in the middle were innocent bystanders Patrick Hudson and Tom Spivey, although a couple of Aggies in Longhorn land make for easy targets.

After long days of captivating company presentations, three nights of record alcohol consumption, and unprecedented scattering of H-Bombs, the BATNA for a Sunday night out was looking pretty good for most Trekkers. We closed the weekend out with some good old Texas barbeque and great country music. Although many of the details have been left out to protect the innocent, I recommend that you get the rest of the story straight from the horse’s mouth. After doing so, you’ll no doubt be ready to break out your checkbook for next year’s AustinTrek.