A Staggering Stroll Down Memory Lane

So, the year is drawing to a close. It seems like only yesterday I was anticipating the joys of Creating Modern Capitalism and all of the other wonderful events that Foundations had to offer. (OK, so maybe my mind was more on the pub crawls and the TGIFs, but at least I remember the name of the book, what more do they want from me?) I wanted to put down on paper some of my fondest memories, and some of my thoughts on the future replica watches.

/As far as I can remember, the year was a highlight reel of costume parties, pre-parties, after-parties, exclusionary parties, TGIFs and section parties. I can’t remember all of the highlights, but here are a few that stand out:

Foundations Pub Crawl: Welcome to the Kong!

Boat Cruise: Didn’t I see this boat on MTV Cribs?

Priscilla: Knute, Pialy and twin, need I say more?
Pimps and ‘Hos: My, my, my, look at all that vinyl 🙂

Halloween: Thank God we get to dress up again for the 10th time in two months

Holidazzle: I laughed, I cried, I drank, I vomited (thank you for the open bar)

Austin Powers Boat Cruise: Shagadelic Baby, Yeah!

Newport Ball: TBD

I know there were more, but these were the ones from which I remember clear highlights.

I know this seems like a full calendar , but I think the administration may have squeezed two or three hundred cases in there somewhere, but they seem to have faded in my memory. (I am sure my memory is the same steel trap it was when I got here. No way all those extra-curricular activities could have affected it.) The ones that really stand out:

National Cranberry: Cracked it.

Enron: How many of those guys were HBS alums?

The Cola-Wars: I think the strategy really boiled down to “caffeine is addictive; go with it”

Every case from FRC: Why am I here?
eChoupal: How did that stick in my memory? Maybe I really am learning something here… Nah.

A-Rod: Key takeaway #1: $252 million is an exorbitant price to pay for a baseball player.

Key Takeaway #2: $120,000 is an exorbitant price to pay to learn that.

I think these were the types of things they wanted me to focus on, but there were so many distractions. Many of you who read my column on a regular basis….. Ok, realistically, both of you who read my column on a regular basis, may remember that I am still looking for summer employment, so that has really been a bigger focus for me than cases.

This is an ongoing process, and something that I thought might raise your spirits about your own job search.

Step 1: Hell week:

Bain: didn’t even get an interview

McKinsey (Santa Fe Office): dinged, round 1

Goldman Sachs: Got interview as comic relief for interviewer who asked me one question and laughed at me for the next 10 minutes.

Morgan Stanley: dinged, round 2
CSFB: Got offer for Bishkek office (why did I get picky and turn this down? I’m still kicking myself.)

Step 2: Other job bank opportunities


Washington Post: Response to my cover letter was “If this letter is any indication of your command of the English language, why are you possibly applying to work here?”

HBS: Approximately same response, “If your grades are any indication of your intelligence, work ethic, or any other aspect of performance, why would we hire you ahead of Bobo the monkey?”

Step 3: Networked job search

Most of these phone conversations go like this:
That Guy: Hi, my name is…
HBS Alum: Click…. Dial tone
That Guy: Hello? Heeellllooooo…

Step 4: I’m still not sure exactly what step 4 is, but when I find out I’ll be sure to let you know.

Yes, it has indeed been a fruitful year of recruiting, but I remain positive. At least by now most of my superiorly qualified classmates have received job offers, and I am starting to look better and better as slave labor.
Now I am embarking on the final odyssey of the RC year, EC Course selection. I am not far enough into the process to give you the details, but I am far enough to know that I will be avoiding the courses where the professor got a score under five. I know that our grades are inflated due to the forced curve, so I am assuming that we do the same for professors.

This leads me to believe that if you get less than a score of five as a professor only people too lazy to do their homework are going to be in your classroom.

I hope that each one of you has had as much fun as I have sleeping 12 hours a week, reading until my optometrist is rich, and eating pizza three meals a day for months on end. As I look forward to my summer back in “the real world” (aka unemployment) I want to remind each of you that it’s OK to let your jobless classmates crash on your sofa for a few days this summer.