“Today, May 11, I’d like to introduce to you the 2006 Section Olympics Champion Section I,” prophesized Dave Burt during the Opening Ceremonies of the Section Olympics. Unfortunately for the other nine sections, he was right. Even the poor weather could not rain on the competitive spirits of all the Type A’s at HBS. “Put me on a court, give me a ball, and put [Brian] Gebhardt (OI) on the other side, and I’m going to play to the death!” exclaimed Shawn Wagoner (OJ).
“I’m Going to Eat Your Twinkie When I’m Done With You!”
Ryan Kauppila, the Dayton, Ohio native, led Section I to a narrow victory over Sections F and B with his prowess as a twinkie eater. “Some guys are good for Harvard level competition, but that guy should have been on ESPN eating competitively,” claimed Thomas Parker (OF) who was thoroughly impressed by Ryan’s efforts during the opening ceremony eating contest. Teamed with Jessica Leroy, Section I finished off the 40 twinkies in three minutes and 10 seconds, shattering the previous Section Olympic mark set in 1983 by Old OG led by Nabil El-Hage. At the five minute stopping point, second place J had only finished 33 twinkies. As other sections puked, Ryan mocked them by snagging a twinkie from another section and gulping it. Complete intimidation! His dominating performance was just the lead in to I-Candy’s strong showing in Pictionary, WACC and Field, and Tug of War.
Dodge Ball
The day did not go without its controversy though. Section B narrowly defeated Section F in the dodge ball championship during sudden death overtime to the jeers of “Dodge Ball Cheaters” from various sections observing from the track. There were only two players remaining on each team, Danielle Romain and Heidi Kuglin of OF and Scott Jacobs and Erin Constantini of OB. The game ended when Jacobs charged Romain (OF). She threw the dodge ball at him and he barely deflected it. After tagging her in the leg, Jacobs crossed the green line and would have been ruled out. Because of sudden death it did not matter, only the first strike did. While observers claimed Jacobs was still hit after he deflected Romain’s ball, officials viewed the instant replay from numerous angles and ruled he did not come into contact with the deflected ball leading to a Section B victory.
The controversy was more over outsiders’ observations that “tagged” players from Section B would not leave the court and continued to play. However, this was a challenge for every team. “A game with six dodge balls and only two referees requires self adjudication on everyone’s parts,” echoed the attitudes of various members of Sections A, C, E, and H. To Section B’s credit, they played tough and came out on top. Led by John Doran and Stephane Heuze, OB played well enough to hold on in the end.
Quiz Bowl
“Cardinal, Fighting Illini, and Fighting Irish,” stated Joe Landon (captain of the OF Quizbowl team). “After that, we just watched each of the other sections self destruct as they tried to catch us.” Those were correct answers to the question: name college mascots that don’t include a color or end with the letter ‘s.’ Section F’s team consisting of Landon, Ashraf Haque, Fernando Velasco Orozco, Irena Goldenberg, Laura Dicker, Rob Go, and Vadim Sobolevski was able to accurately answer that question giving them 22 points and a sizable lead going into the second round. Sections D, B, and J tried to close the gap by aggressively giving answers for every question, losing a point with each wrong answer. The F’ers played conservatively and breezed to victory.
Pictionary
The I-Candy team of Noah Brodsky, Pedro Sancha, Lauren Scopaz, Stefanie Tsen, and Clara Vergara came out victorious in the Pictionary competition. While not acing the preliminary round like some of their competitors, I-Candy netted a resounding 14 out of 15 for the win in the final bonus round. With Brodsky drawing, the “Fantastic Four of Hieroglyphics Deciphering” managed to infer that a mere stick figure was “Rick Ruback”, a set of squiggly lines meant “Pit Dive,” and two music notes and triangle signaled “Newport Ball.” But the top spot on Sportscenter tonight will be the replay of Sancha guessing (in less than 10 seconds) that five circles inside one big circle meant “Virgin Islands.” Finally, Sancha was able to put his virgin spotting skills to some productive use!
WACC and Field
The most comical entertainment came from the WACC and Field. During the Dizzy Bat race, classmates were colliding, falling, and generally disoriented. “Tom [Kim] (OF) was looking right at me, pointing at me, but running towards the exit, he could not run straight! It was hilarious!” exclaimed Marissa “my equilibrium is better than yours” Dent (OF) who was waiting for the relay tag to start her dizzy bat run. During the 3 legged race, OC was able to take advantage of some loopholes and easily won as they were connected at the high thigh instead of the ankle. “I guess 3 legged race means 4 legged race if you’re going to do it that way,” asserted members of Section B who were positioned adjacent to C. “Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Steph Ho (OJ) floating above the ground???” Section J was disqualified from the event as Ho was carried from start to finish occasionally tapping the ground during the wheel barrow race. Old I was able to win with their all male squad since they were unable to find any women in their section that wanted to participate.
Tug of War
The most impressive battle was the Tug of War final between Sections I and A. The Goliath of the two teams was Section I a team that resembled more like the Dallas Cowboys offensive line than a group of MBA students. Odds setters in Spangler had the I-Candy favored at 5 to 1. As the teams lined up, Jaison Battle took his position as A Team anchor. One by one, Jen Gertel, Brian Brenberg, Cat Dial, Mark Kerber, Heather McLetchie-Leader, Lucy Chen, Keith Bussey, Kristy Schultz, and Adam Nims took their positions in front of Battle. When the war began, the I-Candy came out with a powerful thrust pulling the A Team forward. Victory appeared imminent for Section I. However, Section A dug in their heels and gave no further ground. The A Team had bended but they would not break. As the look of confidence faded from the I-Candy, the A Team surged backwards with all their might. The crowd erupted in disbelief as the A Team won the battle. Though outweighed by a solid 200 pounds, Section A dug deep and pulled out a surprising victory. Unlike other sections, the A Team had the teamwork of both men and women that was unrivaled and it paid off in the end.
Closing Comments
“Even though we didn’t win, we had a lot of fun and we showed a lot of spirit,” stated Edmund “We are New E” Kim (now OE) who’s last place finish earned them the Donkey Butt Trophy. Whether you finished first, last, or somewhere in between, everyone who came out thoroughly enjoyed Section Olympics. Danny Shapiro (OG) ably led the section presidents to put together the afternoon’s events and their hard work really paid off. “We should do this again next year,” stated many of the Olympians. Good luck finding someone to run it!!!!
FINAL STANDINGS
HBS Section Olympics 2006
1st Place: I Candy
2nd Place: F’in
3rd Place: B Pirates
4th Place: D-licious
5th Place: Juggernauts
6th Place: Sec-C
7th Place: A Team
8th Place: G Thang
9th Place: Tie between E-joy, E-love, E-harmony.com and W/O “H”, it’s just BS.
Eating Contest
1st Place: I
2nd Place: A
3rd Place: J
4th Place: E
Dodgeball
1st Place: B
2nd Place: F
3rd Place: C
4th Place: J
Pictionary
1st Place: I
2nd Place: B
3rd Place: G
4th Place: D
Quiz Bowl
1st Place: F
2nd Place: D
3rd Place: B&J (tied)
WACC & Field Events
Wheelbarrow
1st Place: I
2nd Place: F
3rd Place: C
4th Place: B
Dizzybat
1st Place: I
2nd Place: J&F (tied)
3rd Place: D
3-legged race
1st Place: C
2nd Place: F
3rd Place: I
4th Place: D
Tug of War
1st Place: A
2nd Place: I
3rd Place: H
4th Place: B
Organizing Committee
Sam Neswick, Director (OA)
Libbie Landles (OB)
Becky Walker (OC)
Nick Yoong (OD)
Edmund Kim (OE)
Quan Nguyen (OF)
Danny Shapiro (OG)
Toby Johnson (OH)
Dave Burt (OI)
Marcelo Reichart (OJ)
With Help from members of the HBS faculty. Thanks!
