Spring Break Advice from Auntie Sam

Dear Auntie Sam,
Sabrina (+ boyfriend, for those of you who got hopeful as did I) & friends are going to Angola for Spring Break. Jennifer & friends are off to ski in Verbier, and Ashley will be in Anguila.

The fact that I was invited on all these trips should be an adequate sign of my popularity and yet, the reason I was invited is that I was the “Safe” guy with the long term girlfriend who loomed far in the distance. They even invited The Girlfriend who I’ve seen only once since I came here in September! So now I’m thinking, did they invite me on these trips because I’m just such exhilarating company (a mere Ode To My Greatness) or heaven forbid, because I was supposedly taken?
I’ve had a lot more success with the chicks at HBS because I’ve always said that I have a far-away (from my thoughts too) girlfriend. That obviously made the girls think I couldn’t possibly be a Hit On Them possibility, they befriended me readily, and now I have some enduring friendships that I was told was the goal of coming here anyway. Furthermore, now I’ve got all these invitations (and girlfriend possibilities) for Spring Break, The Girlfriend is long gone (she was barely there to start with, and HBS is as great an impetus as any to split up), and I can’t bring myself to choose which trip I ought to go on.

Spring Break Befuddled

Dear Spring Break Befuddled,
As you befriend HBS women (not “Chicks”–we don’t say that around here) under false pretenses, at least focus in on the single (Some Chance of Becoming Single) women. One of three women you’ve identified is Taken (really taken) and I would guess another one is likely to be as well since the proportion of single HBS women is relatively low. Another thing to keep in mind as you cultivate your Woman’s Man Image is that you could be mistaken as Gay in which case you might find yourself treading in slightly different waters than you’ve anticipated. Trust me–I know–Women Love Gay Guys.

Obviously you’re indifferent to which Spring Break destination you end up at. Africa vs. Skiing vs. the Beach??? If I were you, I’d take Anguila since even if you crash and burn (likely) in your efforts to Convert Friend to Girlfriend, you could always go to the local Club Med and try your luck.
That would truly be an Ode To Thy Greatness. Do write and tell me what happens will you?

Auntie Sam

Send in your problems to Auntie Sam at harbus@hbs.edu