News in Brief

MBA/MRS Joint-Degree Seeker Wants to Change Classcard

Linda Remick, a joint-degree candidate in the MBA/MRS program, recently expressed outrage at how difficult it is to change information on her classcard. “I can’t believe that they won’t let me edit my college major, or my pre-MBA employment information!” Remick is currently trying to get her “Work Experience” title changed from “Investment Banking: Associate” to “Human Resources: Associate Hug-Captain”. Likewise, Remick is desperate to change her college major from “Applied Bio-Physics” to “Home Economics (general, other)”. “It should be a violation of community standards to not let me make these changes! How can I contribute to ‘the well-being of society’ if I’m 26 years old and don’t yet have a serious rock on my finger?! Well, at least I was able to change my ‘Interests’ section to ‘Make-up, shopping, and acquiescence’, which is a start.”

New Sections Thoroughly Unimpressed

Last week, EC sections enthusiastically welcomed an utterly unimpressed group of RCs to the HBS experience. “Get ready for the best year of your life!” screamed last year’s Section L president to the yawning crowd, “Say it with me: ‘Section L rocks!'”, a command which only about four of the NL’s obeyed half-assedly. Other carefully-prepared OL welcome events, such as the year’s first sky-decks, introduction of the section cheer, and a flawless performance of the official section rhythmic-gymnastics routine, also faced similar apathy from the new little snots.
Despite the lukewarm reception though, the OL section president is not discouraged: “I’m still confident that they will, eventually, encounter the magic of the section experience. Wait until next year, when they find themselves missing people that even three months ago, they couldn’t stand! If that’s not worth a triple back-flip, then what is?”

Over-Achieving RC Student Completes Full-Time Job Search

Sources reported on Monday that Chester Newton (NA) has already completed his networked job search for employment that will commence in September, 2006. “I figured that with only 21 months to go before graduation, and 23 months left before my intended start-date, I’d better get moving,” said Newton, who put his GMAT scores prominently at the beginning of his cover letter, and “Being a Future Baker Scholar” under the “Interests” section of his CV.