At HBS, on-campus housing is split into two parties: The Dormers and the SFP/OWAers. Some say having an apartment on campus allows you to better extend an olive branch of friendship (or more than friendship) to your fellow classmates here at HBS. All the SFP/OWAers point to their real-world apartment amenities and smugly grin as The Dormers ask if they can come over and hang out. What we Dormers fail to realize are all the supreme benefits of minimalist living. It’s about time we embrace dorm life so we present to you… a customer journey of a Dorm vs. SFP/OWA visitor.
| Journey segment | SFP/OWAers say … | Dormers say … |
| Welcome | Welcome to my [SFP] crib.
In name, SFP stands for Soldiers Field Park. In practice, SFP stands for Space For Parties / Puppies / Play. Can I grab you some wine from the extra room I use as my wine cellar? |
Welcome to my [Type One] crib. Aptly named because my room is in fact the size of a small child’s crib. I like to think it’s all part of the novelty. Kind of like those treehouses that rent out on AirBnB for $500 a night. Toss on the HBS name, and my room in Chase could easily go for $700 a pop. |
| Appetizer | Make yourself at home. Feel free to lay out on the couch or in the yoga meditation area we setup in our living room. Do you like the crimson uplighting we installed? I think it really sets the mood.
Can I serve you some bruschetta with fresh roma tomatoes and basil freshly picked from my patio herb garden? |
You can sit on my twin bed if you want. Or my chair. I’ve been debating whether to invest in a beanbag. Just don’t mess up the crossword on my desk, okay? I’m still working on it.
Can I grab you some Goldfish? Oreos? Fruit by the Foot? |
| Dinner | I baked some salmon for dinner tonight. I hope you like fish. Also roasted some carrots, red onions, and brussel sprouts and added a dash of cumin and paprika.
Can I pour you some more wine? |
I grabbed some Kraft Singles and Wonder Bread earlier. Was thinking we could make grilled cheese.
….Hmm, I can’t seem to find my ironing board. Let’s move to Plan B: Got some instant ramen under my bed. |
| Dessert | Putting the creme brulee in the oven. Have you seen my blowtorch? I want to make sure the sugar caramelizes evenly. | I stole these ginormous chocolate chip cookies from the conference in Spangler earlier. Want a bite? |
| Closing | I was thinking… Do you want to stay the night?
I have a king bed– three people could sleep on it, really. |
I was thinking… Do you want to stay the night?
I know my twin bed is cozy, but it’s perfect for a chilly Boston winter night like this one. |
So remember, my dear Dormers: Don’t discount yourselves. Regardless of size, you have a lot to offer.
Kit Robbins is part of Section Z, the best-looking, most politically correct and inclusive section at HBS. Aside from sitting in Spangler drinking coffee and pretending to read cases, Kit does pretty much nothing at HBS. When it’s cold out, you can find Kit wearing flip-flops in the tunnels and stealing/enjoying Chex mix and M&M’s from the i-Lab.
